A story from Philadelphia Magazine got my friends and I talking today.
The story, "The Sorry Lives and Confusing Times of Today's Young Men," is about how the modern young male and how, for a variety of reasons, he just ain't measuring up the way he used to.
It's a fascinating article, decidedly worth a read.
We all know him, most of us have probably even dated him, occasionally more than once - the modern evolutionary phenomenon that I shall dub "the man-child" complex. They don't have much ambition. They play video games. They still live at home.
Once upon a time, by the time a guy was 30, he had ticked off most of the big five markers of adulthood - moved out, got a job, become financially independent, got married and had a child of his own. Now, that's pretty rare, according to the article.
I'm not sure I agree with all of this - the author looks at a ton of different angles to try and figure out why men don't seem to know how to really be men any more, and female empowerment gets blamed by some of the experts - but it's worth a read.
I mean, we all know him.Some of us have dated him, likely more than once, these guys who don't seem to know how to step up and really become real men in modern times. They seem funny, smart, attractive, and then it comes out that they are 30 years old and mom still does their laundry - and that's the way they like it.
Anyways, check it out yourself, but here are some interesting tidbits:
-Famed musician John Mayer says he prefers masturbation to sex with a woman because he doesn't like dealing with another person's needs.
-Males have disengaged with education as females have become more successful. They don't want to compete, and because us girls are into answering the questions, doing well in school and getting higher level degrees, it's obviously the dorky thing for a guy to do. So they don't.
- "Leonard Sax writes and lectures on how to change the American education system so boys will become more engaged... Sax offers an analogy: If you’re baking a cake and you just put it in the oven and realize you forgot to add the vanilla, you can still pull the cake out and stir some in. Pouring vanilla extract over a cake that’s already baked isn’t going to make it better, though. “When a family calls and says their 30-year-old son spends his days watching porn and playing video games,” Sax says, “my response is, ‘I have nothing to offer you.’ A 30-year-old man is baked. "
-"Sax, meanwhile, offers a shorthand definition of masculinity that seems pretty bulletproof: Real men stand up for the weak and disempowered. Imagine the changes that would wreak in Washington, D.C. But he’s not holding his breath—and he’s helping his five-year-old daughter learn to speak Spanish. 'I don’t fear for the human spirit,' he says, 'but I’m not optimistic for American men.'"
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