I finally have a handle on my emotions to be able to write a reasonably coherent account of one of my typical days. Unfortunately, this is really a typical scenario, so the names have been changed to protect the innocent.....I woke up thinking, great a day without demands, one I can plan for myself, hit the gym, catch up on the daily junk, get ahead of the mail, drink coffee, chat with my buds, and just chill. 7:15 AM, the phone rings. Houston, we have a problem. We didn't realize that neck surgery was such a serious procedure. The doc says that it would be a bad idea for me to ride to Victoria in the truck while pulling the RV.
My first question, where are you? Sister, I am at the hospital in Clear Lake. Can you come get me, and take me to Wharton where mom will meet us and take me home. Hub can take the RV back and we should all get home about the same time. Sis, you do realize that mom hasn't been any further than the local HEB in two years....remember the emergency carotid artery surgery...and the declining eyesight and black outs because she forgets to take her meds. Older sis, I already called her and she is happy to get out of the house. Call her back. I will take you to Edna...I drive this turn around all of the time. No, brother or little sis will come with her. She won't get lost. Bad idea, but for the sake of saving time, I will be there in an hour.
Dutiful person that I am, I make the trip and sis and I wait at the Whataburger in Wharton. I wanted to wait at Hinze's, but was afraid my mom would get rear ended trying to slow up way down the road, so she would have time to turn in and wouldn't pass it up. After I saw my mom's Buick going about 15 mph on the off ramp and an 18 wheeler on her tail, I decided to never let my family members make decisions again, ever. I was further convinced when I saw her turn to the left toward the red and white end of road signs instead of just following the road to Whataburger. She came so close to being killed, I just thanked the truck driver when I was finally able to leave. He said he saw that she was driving a bit slow for a major highway, and took no chances. He said he was convinced that he made the right decision when he saw her swerve left.
Why did she turn left? Why did she park an inch away from a car in the parking lot? The mirrors touched. I carefully backed her car out and parked the normal distance between the yellow lines. I was told that I didn't need to do that; she had plenty of room to get out on her side. What if the other people needed to leave? I would have moved my car.....and on it goes.
Now folks, sometimes my real life is a Jeff Foxworthy redneck skit. I asked mom why she turned left into the dead end. Her reason was because the trucker scared her and she just wanted to get out of his way. She knew she turned left, and that gave her time to let him pass her up. I asked where one of my other siblings were. She said she didn't need help driving 60 miles on a straight highway. I asked why it took her almost 2 hours to get to Wharton. She explained that she went to my brothers first, and then remembered that she was supposed to meet me in Wharton. This would add an additional 15 minutes, but you guessed it, she took a wrong turn on one of those country roads, and why don't they have signs to get you back to the highway.........I was so thankful that I had downed a mother's little helper before listening to these explanations and tirades of why the world isn't made just for me comments.
My first clue as to the outcome of the day should have been when I picked up my sister at the hospital. She happily told me that her neck in the brace didn't hurt at all, and while she was waiting for her dismissal, she went to the vending machines and ate 2 ice creams, a coke, and several packages of cookies. Then, they brought breakfast and she ate every bit of that too. Yep, major case of the munchies. My sister was totally stoned from the effects of the anesthesia. All of the days activities had been decided while she was out of her mind. She is the sanest one of the bunch, so dear readers, I think it is obvious who will be first in line for the loony bin. It is the only way I will be able to escape. I've already made hub promise to find one that will let me weave baskets.
I vented on my blog because my husband made fun of the whole situation and told me to basically abandon my family because they are all nuts. I told him when he did the same, I would leave the continent with him. My BFF wasn't home, and nobody, nobody would even respond on my chatlines except my bible group. I asked them to pray for me, but what I really wanted to do was just gripe. Maybe, it is time to up my meds again.
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I am sooo glad I am not alone in the world on this one. I thought it was me just being waaay to critical because people just do the craziest things.
November 18, 2009 at 5:43 p.m.Oh, that story of your mother's driving reminded me of when my grandmother pulled into the wrong side of a split highway and then sat by the side of the road sulking because my dad told her she took a wrong turn.
November 17, 2009 at 3:51 p.m.It's funny now, but at the time I just wanted my life to quit flashing before my eyes. And from then on, my dad drove us everywhere when we went to visit grandma.
My husband had some neck surgery too. And yes he too was stoned out of his mind. Those in the hospital are use to it. At 2:00 a.m. he apparently was roaming for coffee and ended up in the maternity ward --the only ward that made coffee all night long.
But to add to the trip, he had to manuver the IV and the coffee to get back to the room, so you guessed it--he was flashing every nurse on the floor.
His next desire was twinkies. And he had not had any in years. He searched the hospital high and low in is gown. Then he sat looking out the window wondering if the gas station down the road had twinkies....thank goodness he did not make his flashing trip in the middle of the night.
At six he called me to pick him up at 9. He was this jolly fellow. The nurses did not inform me of the drug high and I was trying to figure out where the heck was my husband. When I called into work to say would be at home ---he grabbed phone and started babbling. I grabbed it back. Finally got him settled in a chair. About 15 minutes later he went out and really did not move for a week. Whew!!!!
And yes years later we roll laughing. And he never has been possessed to gorge on twinkies ever again. Something in those drugs really does make them pig out.
November 17, 2009 at 3:22 p.m.Oh, coolgranny, I have family members just like this. Maybe we are related!
November 17, 2009 at 3:16 p.m.As stressful as it was, if you keep a written copy of this event, years from now you will laugh about it. Sorry, I know it was stressful for you, but the memories they create make wonderful stories later in life.
November 16, 2009 at 9:51 p.m.Hope, you don't take my comment the wrong way, but you are right, it was like a Jeff Foxworthy redneck skit. I loved it.