There are some moments that slap you in the face. Even when they've happened before, it still stings and brings tears to your eyes. That was me today.
It started with a message from my mom. She was waiting in the doctor's office for a second mammogram. My first question was when was the first?
About two weeks ago.
My family was gone for a weeklong vacation last week. When they got back, there was a postcard from the doctor with an appointment already set up.
My mother's already had a scare like this. In 2000, she found something that felt like a marble under her skin on one of her breasts. That was removed and it turned out to be benign. That was another moment like this.
Breast cancer has already left a mark on my family. My grandmother has one of the genetic variations that increases the risk of developing breast cancer. She's the reason why I grow my hair out and donate it to Locks of Love over and over again.
So when my mother told me she was getting a follow-up check, my thoughts flew toward the possibilities and my old fears tried to set in again. It took an hour of crying, praying and worship while driving around town paying bills to get that out of my head. It's times like these that my faith is the most important. I don't know what, if anything, is wrong, but I know God is in control. I know He has a plan. I know He loves me and my family and nothing will change that. Even if it is "the big C," He will walk through every moment with us. So why should I be afraid?
Right now we still don't know much about what's happening. All she knows is she spent two and a half hours at a clinic to get two mammograms and two ultrasounds over the same area that was a concern in 2000. There's some kind of dense, solid mass, but the docs say it's not a concern. They want another check in six months.
And I pray it won't end with another moment like this.
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