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Entries for July, 2011 in UNCLE HISTORY
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 31, 1999: To test for the possibility of water on the moon, NASA spacecraft Lunar Prospect slams into its cratered surface. The moon vows bloody vengeance. To see more Uncle History, CLICK HERE
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 30, 1956: "In God We Trust" becomes America's national motto, replacing "Hey you damn kids, get off my lawn."
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 29, 1914: An awkward conversation mars the first transcontinental telephone link between New York City and San Francisco: NY: Hello! SF: Hey. NY: So, what do you think of this tele... SF: This isn't going to work out. NY: ...
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A whole lotta robbin' the cradle goin' on!
By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 28, 1957: Jerry Lee Lewis gives his first televised performance on the Steve Allen Show. Lewis wowed the crowd by playing a blistering version of "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On" all while marrying an underage relative. To see more ...
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You're not a good man Charlie Brown
By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 27, 1974: The House of Representatives begins impeachment proceedings against President Richard (expletive deleted) Nixon. In a (expletive deleted) rage, Nixon puts every American on his (expletive deleted) enemies list, vowing to eat their young. Also put on the ...
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 26, 1775: The Continental Congress creates the first national postal service, naming Benjamin Franklin its first postmaster. The first letter sent through the service was from Franklin to John Adams. The letter read, simply, "Pull my finger, John." Believing ...
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 25, 1797: British Adm. Horatio Nelson loses an arm during the Battle of Santa Cruz de Tenerife. By this point, Nelson was little more than a pair of legs with a hat.
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The Latent Effect of Socializing with Moon Broads Visually Explained
By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 24, 1969: Apollo 11 safely returns to Earth. After a checkup, the astronauts were given a clean health, except Buzz Aldrin who had contracted moon syphilis. Want to see more Uncle history? CLICK HERE
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 23, 1914: A month after the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, Austria-Hungary sends an ultimatum to Serbia. A witness during incident, Gunter, explained the altercation: "Austria-H was all like, 'Dude, what the hell?' and Serbia was looking all innocent, ...
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 22, 1306 Phillip the Fair become Phillip the Misnomer when he expels Jews from France and tries to steal their assets. To see more Uncle History, CLICK HERE
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When will Neil come out of the closet?
By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 21, 1969: After almost a full day on the surface of the moon, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin in the Eagle reconnect with Michael Collins and the Columbia. Once aboard the command ship, Armstrong refuses to answer NASA's questions ...
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 20, 1969: Neil Armstrong becomes the first man to walk on the moon, saying "one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." Some 15 minutes later, Buzz Aldrin steps on the surface, asking "where are the ...
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 19, 1799: One of Napoleon's soldiers discovers the Rosetta Stone in Egypt. A key to unlocking the meaning of Egypt's ancient script, the stone contained four languages: ancient Greek, Egyptian hieroglyphics, Egyptian demotic and Spanglish. This Uncle History goes ...
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 18, 1969: After two days of Michael Collins complaining he had to pee, the Apollo 11 team stops at a Stuckey's halfway to the moon. To see more Uncle History, CLICK HERE
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All bow down to the great and powerful Walt
By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 17, 1955: Walt Disney opens Disneyland to great fanfare. A couple of weeks later, there was some minor tweaking, changing one ride's theme song to "It's a Small World" from "Let's Bow to Our Disney Overlord."
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Real men don't ask for directions
By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 16, 1969: Apollo 11, carrying Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins, lifts off on a mission to defeat Communism on the moon. After liftoff, there was some panic aboard command ship Columbia after Collins admitted he forgot the ...
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Hey China, open the door! I know you're in there!
By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 15, 1971: Richard Nixon announces that he will travel to Communist China to seek "normalization of relations." When Nixon arrived, China turned off all the lights and tried to pretend like they weren't home. But Nixon just lingered on ...
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This is why we need stronger gun control!!!
By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 14, 1946: Dr. Benjamin Spock publishes "The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care." The book offered practical advice to parents of the 1940s: Don't let baby ride on the hood Don't let baby drive, either Don't reward ...
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Go on now boy, squeal like a pig!!!
By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 12, 1804: Alexander Hamilton dies from wounds caused in a duel the day before with Vice President Aaron Burr. Realizing he was in trouble, Burr went on the lam. Eventually, against the advice of many, Burr enters into Boone ...
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 11, 1804: Vice President Aaron Burr mortally wounds Alexander Hamilton in a duel for being an a$$hole. To see more Uncle History, CLICK HERE
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 10, 1832: Andrew Jackson vetoes a bill that would recharter the Second U.S. Bank. Decorum prohibits explaining with what Jackson affixed his seal to the document, but it sure the hell wasn't wax. To see more of Uncle History' ...
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The first reading of the Declaration of Independence
By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 8, 1776: The ringing of the Liberty Bell calls the people of Philadelphia to Independence Square to hear Col. John Nixon give the first public reading of the Declaration of Independence. The touching moment was ruined when John Adams ...
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 9, 1878: Henry Tibbe patents the corncob pipe, giving hillbilly women an opportunity to take up a more lady-like approach to tobacco than chawing on plug. To see more Uncle History, CLICK HERE
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Emily Dickinson enters Boone County
By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 7, 1852: With Andrew Jackson in pursuit, Emily Dickinson enters into Boone Country. She was worried. While rumors are that old Daniel died some years ago, his kin still lived here. And while she was uncertain as to what ...
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Another day, another monkey on a stick
By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 6, 1785: Congress adopts the dollar as American's unit of currency. Before the dollar, Americans used bugs, rocks and monkeys on sticks. Want to see more sophisticated humor? Go see a Woody Allen movie! Want to see more Uncle ...
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 5, 1295: France and Scotland form a club and sign an alliance against England. When it found out, England told the duo that it would make its own club and sign its own alliance against them. When Scotland and ...
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 3, 1776: The Continental Congress debates and fine-tunes Thomas Jefferson's declaration. Several lines are omitted from the grievances section after Jefferson got a bit overzealous. Some of the deleted complaints against King George III were: He gave me syphilis. ...
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Would it kill you to put on some pants?
By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 2, 1776: After fierce debate, the Continental Congress passes the resolution declaring the colonies independent of Great Britain. The Congress also passed the "Stop it, Ben Franklin" resolution. The resolution, introduced by Franklin's fellow Pennsylvanian John Dickinson reads: "Heretofore, ...
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By unclehistory in UNCLE HISTORY
July 1, 1932: John Wayne stars in his first of many porno films, "Chap My Hide." Wayne's illustrious career would be rivaled only by Martin & Lewis. To see more Uncle History, CLICK HERE