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Unwanted Sacrifices
By trtcreate in My little corner of the world.
October 30, 2007

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I am finally here to blog about my unwanted sacrifice that I am desperately trying to live with daily. About 9 years ago my son, Dustin, came to me along with his father asking if he could go and live with his father and his father wanting full custody. My world just came crushing in with a whirlwind ! I couldn't say anything at first but putting my son first and realizing that I was in an unstable situation such as an abusive marriage with an alcoholic ex moving from one place to another, having a stepson with leukemia and afraid to leave and etc. I knew that living with his father would be a better choice, financially and emotionally with stability. Unfortunately my son never really wanted to come and visit after the change because environmentally his father's place had a lot more effect on his state of mind and had more to offer. So on this note, thinking that I had lost him and just praying that somehow I could change the marriage for the better by moving to California, my ex's dream state, that everything would turn out okay. I asked my ex that if we moved out there would he promise that we would visit frequently ? He stated yes. Hold and behold once living there, he stated that there was no going back ! I was devastated but I kept trying to make it better but finally I made a phone call to my parents and my daughter and I moved to Pasadena,Texas. I started working in the security field (Pinkerton) hoping to put back here and there but once again unfortunately had to live on a paycheck to paycheck basis. Then in 2002 I met my loving husband, Michael now living here in Victoria, Texas. So the pro of all past is that now I am married to a wonderful, loving husband and Amber has a tremendously fantastic father! The con of it all - I am still trying to deal and live with my unwanted sacrifice ! I live with the torture of me ripping apart my children's chance of having a sibling relationship and even wondering if I will even get another moment with him. Lord I pray!

Comments


  • Grifter Grifter
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    We will be working on a reunion as soon as possible, I promise. Love you sweetie

    November 3, 2007 at 7:27 a.m.

  • trtcreate trtcreate
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    Thank you all for your thoughts and the offer of an ear. My son is now 20 and when I last saw him he was 11. Thank you  darlins64 - because sometimes it does help just to know that someone will listen to a heart that needs to pour. Also thank you texson1986  for the hopefulness and I pray that he will be able to understand.

    October 31, 2007 at 8:07 p.m.

  • darlins64 darlins64
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    Tammy, your story touched my heart!  I had something similar happen to me in 1992.  I know what you are going through and if you ever want to reach out and talk to someone who might understand, don't hesitate to contact me! 

    October 31, 2007 at 12:43 p.m.

  • texson1986 texson1986
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    Hello Tammy,

    I am not sure how old your Son is now, but at sometime I think you need to have a LONG sit down and tell him what you posted here. It is VERY obvious that you love your son and did what you thought was best for him. That is all we can ever do as a parent.

    Just make sure he knows that you are in a safe stable environment now and your door is ALWAYS open. The older kids get the more they appreciate the sacrifices we have to make for them.

    Good Luck,
    Harold

    October 31, 2007 at 6:43 a.m.


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