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Life's too short to drink cheap beer!
"Stay out of the road, if you want to grow old" - Pink Floyd
Great LOTR quote, here's my favorite:
"Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends" - Gandalf the Grey
You couldn't hit a mule in the a$$ with a bass fiddle!
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." Bilbo Baggins
VBB, you need to have an "as" in your saying not an a....
And the one while driving....
" They'll stop, the don't want to get hit either."
Famous last words, along with "Watch this sh1t"
Here's some to add to the list:
"Slick as snot on a doorknob."
and my favorite from a relative: "Don't worry about a thing; ain't nothing gonna be alright."
add to it "in a brass bra" and you're really cold.
Colder than a witches t!t was one I learned when I first came to Texas
I've always found this one amusing: If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you tried.