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to stache or not to stache?

First, what makes a man, and some women, want to grow a flavor saver? Is it a job requirement? Like a police officer, high school coach/shop teacher or porn star? For some reason these professions seem to have an over-abundant amount of mustachioed dudes. Does the hair on your upper lip add some authority? Do convicts, students and/or porn actresses shudder at the sight of your forest lip-follicles? I could see it making up for some other short coming for the cop or coach, but for obvious reasons I don't see it being the same for the swordsmith. Maybe the purveyor of porn is trying to hide his identity. For what ever reason, why the stache?

Second, when growing your fuzz what style do choose? Is there a website you can go to that will help you choose the right stache for your face? Or better yet, is there a secret society of mustache cultivators that will bestow their knowledge upon your hairless face? With all of the styles to choose from it's got to be tough. Handlebar or pencil thin...thick and meaty or thin and crispy...whispy or mountain manish...neat as a pin or scruffy and rugged...as you can see the list goes on and on.

Growing up in South Texas can expose you to all kinds of cultural differences. One comes to mind on this subject...the near obsession of young hispanic boys to treat their peach-fuzz as real whiskers. It was always something that baffled me. Being that I'm a Cracker, I'm not privy to all the ins and outs of the non-white cultures, or that many white ones either. I do know that machismo is a big part of it, but does having something that looks like dirt on your lip really make you that much more manly? I think it makes you look like a dumbass, but like I said, I'm just a crackass cracker so what do I know. When I was about the age that the fuzz was getting darker I knew it was time to shave. It looked like I had arm hair growing on my face.

I asked a couple of guys I know why they were sporting the womb-broom and I really couldn't get a definite answer. One said because it was the 70's and he felt he needed some facial hair. The other said that he wanted to be like this cool teacher in high school. I'm starting to think it's the secret society thing.

Those of you that read this and have a stache, please let us know why. Ladies, is it something you like or don't like? Explain why you do or don't.