My baby girl learned to walk only yesterday. How can she already be learning to drive?
I dropped my 15-year-old off Monday night at a drivers education class and took a big gulp. As I stood in the hallway outside her classroom, she must have sensed my my bewilderment. She gave me a quick hug -- something she never does in public any more -- and told me I could go.
The teacher recited for me figures about kids needing five years of experience to be fully prepared as drivers. I have to admit I was a bit too overwhelmed to focus on what she was saying, but I responded with something like, "That sounds about right. She can drive when she's 21."
As I drove home, I thought back to when I was a 16-year-old behind the wheel. How do I teach her the caution that I didn't have then? How do I help her recognize the fools on the road around her? I didn't even want to think about the dangerous idiots drinking or texting -- no one can be fully prepared for that encounter.
She's much more responsible than I was at her age, so I suppose I shouldn't worry. But bad things happen. I can't even count the number of heart-breaking traffic stories I've encountered as an editor. Driving is the most dangerous thing we do.
When I was 16, I was running an errand in my parents' car, bringing home a 25-pound bag of dog food from a country feed store. I didn't think I was driving too fast as I crested a hill and hit a freshly laid patch of gravel. My driver's ed class (taught in school by the football coach, unlike today's private classes that don't even include behind-the-wheel instruction) hadn't prepared me for what to do when the wheel didn't respond like normal.
This was 1976, so I wasn't even wearing a seatbelt as the car rolled. I was in God's hands as I blacked out and flew around the car like that sack of dog food. I woke up to find myself lying on the roof in a topsy-turvy world. A man leaned over, peered through where the window used to be and asked how I was. My arm was bleeding from tiny shards of glass, but I was well enough to be terrified of my parents' reaction.
They surprised me by not even scolding me for totaling their car. As a father, I know now they were just grateful and relieved. I pray I'm as lucky with my kids.
With every passing milestone, we lose the ability to keep our children safe. From the moment they take that first step, they're putting themselves in harm's way. You can't blame a father for trying, though.
My father e-mailed me Monday this photo of bluebirds in his fountain. The picture has nothing to do with my post, but I wanted to share it nonetheless. Thanks, Dad, for reminding me of the beauty all around us.

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Rusty,
January 8, 2010 at 10:42 p.m.My parents are retired south of Tucson. I'll tell him you enjoyed the picture. And thanks for the well-wishes for our daughter.
CHRIS: Where does your dad live? Tell him thanks for the great pic.
January 7, 2010 at 8:47 p.m.My multi-paragraph tome never did post. Rather than buy her a cute little rice burner, get something that affords her some physical PROTECTION. Also, make her buy her own gas. By not getting her a cute little "fuel efficient" beer can on wheels, she'll learn the facts of life about the economy of planning her trips. And, always remember, when she's out, apply I Thessalonians 5:17, "Pray without ceasing." May she always be safe.
January 6, 2010 at 9:18 p.m.There is not a parent alive that thinks their kids are ready the first time they drive alone. Most of them do just fine though.
January 5, 2010 at 9:47 p.m.Chris, I wrote this one before.
1st>> put her in a legit driving class. which you did. the ones the parents' monitor is a joke. they pencil in hours and the child gets NO road driving education. They dont know road signs, street marking or its meanings.
2nd>>, use tough love. take the cell phone away the first month (just while in the vehicle, lol) enough distractions. No more than 1 friend rider the 1st month, same reason.
3rd>>,show her a public announcement video clip of cell ph. and driving errors. a good one. caution graphic! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pubTiD...
I too was worried as heck when mine started to drive but I knew they were educated on driving consquences.
January 5, 2010 at 9:32 p.m.Great advice, call. Thank you. Brooke, I particularly appreciate your perspective about how parents can mean well but smother their children.
January 5, 2010 at 6:31 p.m.I think you have already started doing your part in helping to keep her safe by putting her in drivers ed early. The only way she will learn how to drive is through practice and by having others, like yourself and her instructor, teach her. My parents were so afraid that I wasn't ready and/or would have an accident that I had to beg them to even put me in drivers ed, which didn't happen until about two months before my 18th birthday. By the way, that was only about 3 and a half years ago and we drove with the instructor in my class-- it was 7 hours of driving and 7 hours of observation required-- so I'm surprised to hear that's not still the case. However, my class was in Austin (Westlake to be exact) so maybe it's just different in different areas. Anyway, when I finally did get my license, after I had turned 18 and moved out of the house, I was terrified to drive. I was uncomfortable because of my lack of experience- which my parents had been afraid to help give me. Still, I knew it was something I had to do because it's just part of growing up and being a productive member of society, especially if you plan to ever potentially live in a place without public transportation. Even that can be very undependable though, as well as limited. So the bottom line is, I think it's great that you recognize that driving is most certainly dangerous, yes, but necessary, and the best thing you can do for your daughter is practice with her every chance you get so you know she knows what she's doing and is comfortable behind the wheel. I think they should still have drivers ed in public schools, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks that.
January 5, 2010 at 5:40 p.m.If we hold on too tightly we may pull out feathers and thus make flying difficult for them.
If we don't hold tightly enough they may slam into the first obstacle in their haste.
Words of wisdom shared,and a few good and deep breaths are the least we can offer towards their achievments. The last hyperextension of ourselves for them may well see us running below them with a pillow as they fly away into the world, but take heart, every step was well worth the time and effort we took to get them airborne.
Poetics aside, I fully understand what you're going thru. My Stepdaughter is learning to drive as well. I too say the image fits. Perfectly.
January 5, 2010 at 8:37 a.m.She will have so much fun driving you all over the town to log hours! Just imagine your "happy place." That image was related to your post after all. ;)
January 4, 2010 at 11:10 p.m.