Barbara Breazeale is married to Bill Pozzi, the mom to four and grandmother to six. She is the Advancement Director for Victoria House of Palms, P.O. Box 4886, Victoria Texas 77903. barbarabreazeale@gmail.com.

Wheelchair

A wheelchair.

Anyone who knows me, knows that sitting still is not my strong suit. I have always said I would not make a good invalid.

Recently I tore my planter fasciitis and have a crack in the heel of my left foot. Doctor says stay off as much as possible. He wrapped it up and off I went. It really hurt a lot but I could limp around. Bill said I needed to exercise more and we should go for a walk. I know, I know I married him.

Last week I fell at home being clumsy and broke my right foot! My doctor looked at me and said, “This is bad. You cannot have any pressure on that foot and we need to operate and put a screw in it.”

All I could think is that God has a morbid sense of humor. Friends quickly told me that God was telling me to slow down. I rolled my eyes and won’t tell you what I thought but cuss words were involved.

Here are some observations from a person who has broken their first bone ever, has never been confined to wheel chair and who is frustrated.

I love my doctor, he is really good and explains things very well. I think I shocked him when I came in to have the left foot wrapped and he looked up to see x-rays of the right foot. His assistants, who are in their 20’s come in and proceed to outfit me with a boot that feels like a 20 pounder and crutches. They smile and tell me that I can just lift my right foot off the ground and proceed with one foot on the ground and crutches. I tell them that I have not been on crutches before, my left foot hurts from “that other injury”, the boot is terribly heavy so there is no lifting in the air happening, plus I am old. All I can imagine is a face plant in the parking lot.

Everyone is cheery but me.

My husband proceeds to tell me that I must get this fixed right away and need an operation right now. I must have missed it when he slipped out to get his orthopedic or podiatrist medical degree.

Now Bill is fixated on my left leg getting fixed. I explained about needing MRI to verify heel crack and he says let’s do it right now. I guess he wants me to show up at an MRI facility and tell them my husband wants it done today. I keep wondering why I did not think of this myself.

One of the scariest moments was when I realize that “he” is my nurse. I will explain this gently so that I am not inundated with men telling me that they are as nurturing as women. Better yet, go to any ER, Child Care facility, Hospital floor, nursing home, school and tell me what gender has the largest percentage of employees? There is a reason.

Bill works outside all day, pokes his head in every two to three hours and says, “Is everything okay?”

Yeah it’s ducky. Liz Heiser is a wonderful friend who is always helping others. She comes over with walker, immediately walks around to make sure that I have a clear path, asks what she can do and brings me lunch. She even finds a wheel chair at a yard sale and wants to buy it for me. She offers to do my grocery shopping and questions me about what I need done. Women get it.

I had seven meals in three days, all from women. Bill said, “Great I get home cooked meals!!!” I knew that this was all about him.

Bill went to five locations on the day after my fall to get a wheel chair, someone needs to find out why they say they have wheel chairs and yet none in stock. It is not a commodity that you can “wait” on.

Walmart and Amazon sell them for about $100!!! Rental is $50 a week!! We ordered one.

I am going stir crazy, how many episodes of “Poirot” can you watch? I am trying to do housework or jobs. This is amazing to me. I am a good housekeeper and things are always clean and picked up, but being at a new level in the chair I am seeing dirt I never knew was there!

Some doors I cannot fit through like the pantry and closet doors and some hard to maneuver because of hallway size. It really makes you aware of why they have handicapped bathrooms, and guidelines for public buildings.

The number of devices you need is mind boggling! Walkers, Wheelchairs, special arm holds, crutches, shower chairs, etc. Reminds me of when you have a baby and suddenly your house explodes with things.

Even though I hate this boot I remember that in the olden days they had plaster casts for everything, so this is a step up. (excuse the pun)

I find that I don’t want to go out because I feel self- conscious being in this chair, vanity is another word.

I find myself thinking of Cole Ohrt and what it must feel like to be a paraplegic and reliant on others for everything you do.

I know I should be grateful but two feet injured and can’t walk has pushed my pity party into high gear.

It is exasperating to empty the dishwasher and cannot reach the upper cabinets to put things away. If something falls on the ground, often I have to leave it because I fear falling over.

Simple tasks like getting water, getting dressed, are an ordeal. I am not even going to talk about taking a shower! Yikes.

I like moving fast and getting a ton of things done and all of that has stopped. Sometimes I get really down. Good friends come by to talk and you would think Tom Selleck just walked in. I am waaaay too needy.

Bill is doing much better. I think my kids must have talked to him. He takes out the trash, has moved some stuff out of the way and when I ask him to do things he responds quicker. He even halfway made the bed the other day. I have decided to hire a person to clean my house while this is going on. He is clueless about cleaning and I have to face it.

Patience has never been my strong suit. I have had to sit and wait for long periods before things are done. I am getting better at it. At first, my thought process was “No divorce, but possibly homicide.” (He can be cranky). I am realizing that I am glad I am not alone in this house and grateful that Bill is there for me.

Maybe God does have a plan in all of this. Maybe he realizes that in a marriage, in a family and in friendships, there are ups and downs. When we are tested during sicknesses, pregnancies, operations, absences, etc. we realize the true worth and character of the people in our lives. We see them rise to the occasion, help us when we are down, be there in our time of need. If we have done for others, it comes back sometimes, sometimes not. You don’t do it for the payback, you do it because it is right.

But I must admit, I check the sky often to see if Mary Poppins is coming to my rescue.

I bet she’s never cranky.

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