WHHHHHY?! The '80s are back ... again


June 11, 2010 at 1:11 a.m.

We just can't seem to escape it. No matter how hard we try or dress it up to look like something else, it keeps creeping back into mainstream culture.

Like, the '80s are back, dude. Again.

Why, you ask? I wish I could answer. A sign of the pending apocalypse, perhaps? God's wrath at our inhumanity to one another personified by fingerless gloves and neon, maybe?

And the worst part is, we know better. We even knew better back then. Although we sported the swatches and the mullets and the shoulder pads and the sky-high bangs with what would appear to be pride, deep down, our 1984 self knew that someday, our 2010 self would look back through our old photos and shudder with horror and disbelief.

But it seems we never learn our lesson. Like in the fashion world, for instance.

Today's skinny jeans? Remakes of those stone-wash, skintight Jordaches you had to lay down to zip up.

Today's harem pants? Only slightly altered versions (albeit much better colored) of the Hammer pants.

Today's leggings? They didn't even try with this one. It's the exact same look from 1986, man.

However, let's forget for a second that the '80s have been creeping back into modern-day fashion since the obligatory 10-year cycle made it cool and "vintage." The '80s aren't playing around and are determined to invade all parts of our lives this time.

Take for instance this weekend, where the two biggest movies coming out are both based on 1980s material. Hollywood has remade "Karate Kid" and turned the TV show, "The A-Team," into a modern, action flick. Not to mention the other movies that recently have come out that are set in the '80s, like "MacGruber" and "Hot Tub Time Machine." There's even rumors there's going to be a "Smurf" movie.

Like, gag me with a credit card and put me on layaway.

And then there's the resurgence in popularity for that 1980s icon, Betty White. That itty-bitty biddy is everywhere these days. The kids love her! They can't get enough of her!

It's even affecting the children. THE CHILDREN! 1980's toys like Care Bears, Transformers and Strawberry Shortcake are making a comeback on store shelves.

Even our pranks have an '80's twist. Remember Rickrolling?


Perhaps it's something we just can't avoid. Maybe we can't help idolizing the trends of two decades ago. I mean, the '70s were all about the '50s. That's when we were introduced to the retro show, "Happy Days," and the set-in-the-1950s movie, "Grease."

Not to mention, the '90s brought us "That '70s Show" and "Dazed and Confused."

Happily, however, if it's a basic human urge to resurrect whatever happened 20 years ago, the '80s stranglehold on society is about to come to an end. With 2010 ushering in a new decade, it's only natural that soon we will be resurrecting (drum roll please) the '90s!

Ah yes, hello greasy hair, flannel shirts tied at the waist and wide leg jeans, my old friends. So, so glad to finally see you again. Fo' rizzle.



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