Ask Dave: Tithing without telling
By Dave Ramsey
Oct. 27, 2012 at 5:27 a.m.
Dear Dave: I'm a Christian, but my husband is not. However, we still budget a small amount to give to the church. I started working a part-time job recently and would like to tithe on this income. Is it OK to do this without telling him? - Christine
Dear Christine: No, it's not. Do you really think you'd be honoring God by tithing on this income while at the same time creating a situation where you're dishonoring your husband by hiding things from him? That's not a good idea.
Your husband has already shown respect for your beliefs with his agreement to make tithing a part of your budget. I think you should return that respect and let him know you'd like to give a portion of your new income. Besides, you wouldn't be tithing out of his income in a situation like this. It would just be a small portion of the new, additional income you're generating.
Remember, too, that not tithing isn't a sin. God doesn't love you more when you tithe, and it's not a salvation issue. He wants us to be givers because he knows what it does for us on the inside. It makes us a little more Christ-like when we put the wants and needs of others ahead of our own.
So sit down with your husband and explain your feelings on the issue. He doesn't sound like an unreasonable guy. But regardless, you shouldn't deceive someone just because you don't see eye to eye on everything.
Dear Dave: I lost my job a couple of weeks ago, and I'm having a tough time finding part-time work to bridge the gap until another position comes along. I've got a master's degree, and I've been wondering if that's hurting my chances in the interim. I'm really eager to stay on track paying off my debts. Should I dumb down my résumé? - Jamie
Dear Jamie: Honestly, if it's only been a couple of weeks, I think you probably just haven't found the right thing. There are lots of people out there with big-time résumés who have been forced to go part-time in today's job market. It's not unusual right now for UPS or FedEx managers to see people with your level of education wanting to throw boxes.
Whether they're trying to get out of debt or they're unemployed or underemployed, it's just part of the economic strain the country's going through at the moment.
I really like your drive, though, and the fact that you're actively trying to find a solution to your problem tells me that you're the kind of person who won't be denied. Because of this, I think some really good things will begin to happen for you in the coming weeks and months.
But let's not go down the path of omitting things from your résumé. Think about what would happen if your boss discovered you hadn't truthfully represented yourself and your background. I know if it were me, I'd have to wonder if I could really trust someone who did that.
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