Life At Its Best: God is bigger than our problems
By Jim Graff
March 1, 2013 at midnight
Updated Feb. 28, 2013 at 9:01 p.m.
Everyone likes to win. If you come from a competitive family like mine, you know this especially well. Whether it was a sports competition or a race to the car, my brother, sisters and I fought to be No. 1. However, as I've gotten older I've realized that in some cases, winning isn't the ultimate goal. This is especially true in the area of arguments.
Unfortunately, disagreements are and will always be a part of life because we don't see everything the same way. If you're married, you probably know this all too well. The truth is that we all have arguments. So if you're feeling like you and your spouse are the most confrontational couple on the planet, just know that you're not. We all feel that way at times.
I remember thinking that way when my wife and I would argue. Then one day, I discovered a list of common topics of argument among couples. The top one was money. Further down were things like disciplining the kids and lack of communication. Sound familiar? They did for me.
If we're honest, we've all dealt with these things at some point. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience."
All couples argue. The reason some people have successful marriages isn't because they never disagree, it's because they've learned to handle their disagreements in a way that makes both people feel like a winner. That should be our ultimate goal in an argument.
No matter how big our problems seem, our God is bigger. If we follow his pattern, our marriage can begin moving in the right direction. His pattern starts with asking for his help. James 4:2 says, "You don't have what you want because you don't ask God." No one knows how to create a better marriage than God. He can give us wisdom for our marriage that we can't find on our own. But we have to ask him, and then we have to be willing to listen to and obey his answers.
Next, we must recognize our own imperfections. This is a tough one. No one likes admitting they're wrong. But if we want to move forward, we must learn to identify and admit the areas we fall short.
Lastly, we should pursue peace. Often we think pursuing peace means simply ignoring our problems.
That might work for a while, but if it does, it'll only be a temporary fix. Pursuing real, lasting peace requires taking action. We've got to be real about our problems. Take time to talk them through. Don't wait for the other person to bring it up. Take initiative. It's amazing what can happen when we're willing to take the first step.
Are arguments affecting your marriage more than they should? I encourage you to realize you're not alone. Seek God's wisdom and be real about the areas you struggle. Admit when you're wrong. Make pursuing peace a priority. You can start taking steps toward a better marriage today.
Jim Graff is the Senior Pastor of Faith Family Church in Victoria. faithfamilyvictoria.com