Advocate Editorial Board opinion: Run like you're fleeing Thanksgiving
By the Advocate Editorial Board
Oct. 10, 2013 at 5:10 a.m.
The time has come, Ruby. October is upon us, and the second leg of the Great Gobbler Gallop begins at 10:30 a.m. Saturday. We hope you're ready.
Granted, you have a nice lead against Paycheck, the five-minute fowl from Worthington, Minn., but let's not get cocky. You ran the first leg like a champ, reaching the finish line with a time of 1:18.12. Paycheck came trailing behind at 5:56.3. That's a good start, but there's another half to go before the Traveling Turkey Trophy of Tumultuous Triumph is in the bag.
So, let's talk strategy. America has seen plenty of amazing races and showdowns throughout the ages, and it's easy to get caught up in the hype of another nail-bitting, underdog finish. But that's not who you are. You aren't short little Seabiscuit taking on the champion War Admiral. You're Secretariat, charging full-speed ahead and leaving your competition in the dust. This is your Triple Crown moment. You've done it once; it's time to do it again.
Paycheck's trainer admits the Midwest turkey has been packing on the pounds but don't underestimate him. He may look like a sumo-turkey, but even sumo wrestlers can move when they need to. You aren't stepping into the ring; you're running for the finish line.
Lastly, we know you love your french fries. Who doesn't? But the middle of a race is no time to stop for a quick snack. Save the snacking for after the race. I bet, if you run fast enough, you'll get all the treats you can swallow.
So run like there's a man with a turkey baster chasing you.
Just make sure you're running in the right direction.
We're counting on you, Ruby.
This editorial reflects the views of the Victoria Advocate's editorial board.