Editor’s note: Saturday’s column is the last of the Oceans for Emotions to appear in the print edition of the Advocate. Starting Jan. 2, her columns will be published weekly in the Advocate’s e-edition. You can find them at victoriaadvocate.com/eedition. Elaine was a popular columnist and her columns, which have previously been published in the Advocate, will live on in the e-edition.
“Ask and it shall be given unto you.” — Matthew 7:7
On this Christmas day, I went to see the “Santa of the Sea” to tell him what I wanted for Christmas
I took my Christmas list and right there by the sea, I climbed upon his sandy lap, looked into his blue-green sparkling eyes that were right above where his white beard was formed where the waves rippled upon his sandy shore, and I told the “Santa of the Sea” what I really wanted for Christmas.
“Santa Sea, give me my limit of speckled trout, redfish, and three big flounder.”
The Sea Santa replied, “You have already had those many times. Ask for something you don’t have.”
“OK I really need all of my reels cleaned and new line put on them.”
“Come on Elaine, you already know how to do that.”
“Well, I would like to be able to drive down to the beach and not be afraid of getting stuck in the sand.”
“Don’t drive too close to the water, dummy!”
“Oh, yeah, how about two buckets of live bait that will live until I am at my fishing spot.”
“You already have an aerator.”
“I don’t have any batteries, oh Sea Santa.”
“All of my gifts come with the label, ‘batteries not included.’ It keeps the parents mobile on Christmas morning.”
“Gosh, Santa of the Sea, I can’t think of anything else that I need that I don’t already have.”
Then you need to say, “Thank you, instead of gimme.”